


Moony: The Curse of the Full Moon

by Amydiddle



Series: Moony: The Story of R. J. Lupin [1]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Bite to Second Year, Canon Compliant, Gen, Marauders, Marauders' Era, Mental Health Issues, Mental Instability, Moony - Freeform, Padfoot - Freeform, Prongs - Freeform, Self Depreication, Tagging everything I can think of, This fic was moved from FF.net and kind of ramped up to my current writing style, Werewolf wounds, Wormtail - Freeform, someone hug this boy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-17
Updated: 2017-07-20
Packaged: 2018-12-01 12:06:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,569
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11486055
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Amydiddle/pseuds/Amydiddle
Summary: A curious three year old boy, a grudge against a name, and the watchful moon's silent gaze. The 27th of February,1964 the full moon shone down on a small house in Wales and a curse was brought upon the family that would change them forever. Remus John Lupin, only a small child when everything was taken from him and his family. Now the threat isn't on the outside; it is him.





	1. Book 1: Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is a story I started back at the end of the my sophmore year of high school. It centers around Remus Lupin, a poor boy that had a terrible curse thrust upon him. When I started to write it, my motivation had been the fact that I really loved Lupin and I wanted to get background before I thrust him into a story about the Wizarding War. 
> 
> Most of my original ideas have been lost to time but I am trying to pick it up again. This collection is the first three 'books' as the younger me dubbed them. The Bite, First Year, and Second Year. I have gone back through the chapters and edited/rewrote them to live up to my current writing level. 
> 
> The chapters on FanFiction.Net chapters will stay the same found here: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11189003/1/Moony-The-Curse-of-the-Full-Moon

** Moony **

**_Lupin's Cottage_ **  
**_Welsh Countryside  
27 February, 1964_**

Night had fallen over the cold February night and blanketed a small cottage in the woods. Inside the cottage a clock filled the silence of the home with a faint ticking noise as it moved away from the ten o'clock mark. Outside a howl of some animal echoed through the woods and seemed to float into the resident child's bedroom window. 

The full moon's light leaked through the glass and out of the curtains. The silvery light pooled over the chest of toys than onto the wooden floor. The sound had woken up the three-year-old that laid in bed; blankets tucked up to his chin.

The fear of the unknown sound hit him first. The darkness and silence of the night hit him after and made the howl seem like just a dream. Still, one could never be too sure. Carefully the boy slipped out of bed and made his way over to the window. He climbed up onto the toy chest to get a better view of the outside world. 

Brown eyes looked up at the sky at the shining moon that was so bright it had blocked out a lot of stars. Only a few stars broke through the bright light of the moon. They stubbornly stayed twinkling in the vast darkness of the light sky above the house that rested in the woods. 

Movement below pulled his gaze away from the moon and brought it to the woods below. The brightness of the moon made him see something dart into the trees. His first thought had been his cat that had gotten out two days ago. If he could bring the cat back he was sure his mother would be a little happier about the sudden vacation to their cottage.

The child slipped off of the toy chest and made his way over to where his shoes were kept. He grabbed a pair of rubber boots and slipped them on as well as grabbed his favorite jacket to put over his blue pajamas. Cautiously, he slipped from his bedroom and into the hall. The child's eyes scanned the darkness of the hallway anxiously; he did not want to alert his parents of his plan. This had to be a surprise plus there was no way his father would let him out on the night of a full moon.

He got to the end of the hall without his parents being alerted and took that as a sign that he was home free. He buttoned up his jacket and hurried down the stairs quickly but silently. The full moon’s light helped him see the objects that laid on the stairs and that could trip him as he made the quick journey down. 

Once on the bottom step the small child hurried down the main hallway toward the back door. His small hand grabbed the handle. He gritted his teeth as he he pulled it open with some difficulty. The back door had been difficult for as long as he could remember; he had always needed his mother or father's help when he wanted to go through it. He was very proud of himself for getting it open on his own. 

A light breeze through the small clearing where his family’s cottage sat and sent a chill up his spine. The moon gave everything an unearthly glow as the boy made his way out of the house. He just let the door slowly close behind him; not caring when it did not click back into place. The child simply stepped out onto the grass but hung hear the back steps. 

“Silver?” He whispered and glanced around. He did not want to go near the woods at night. Something deep in his gut was telling him to turn and run; to get out of there as fast as he could. He did not listen to these warnings but simply hugged himself tightly and bravely took a step toward a section of the forest he had last spotted the cat.

“S-silver?”

Something moved in the thick brush and a spark of hope lit up inside the child.

"Silver, get out of there you sill cat."

He let his arms loosen the hug around his torso and hurried over to the shadowed trees. 

Then everything went wrong. 

The happiness turned to fear in an instant as feral yellow eyes appeared in he darkness of the woods. A sick feeling came over the toddler that could only be described as pure terror; something a person of his age should never experience. The boy had stood frozen, staring at those eyes, until the creature that owned them let out a terrifying howl. At the sound, the boy snapped out of his daze and turned to run back to the house as fast as his small legs could carry him.

As the boy began to run a large beast broke through the tree line and started chasing after him.

In the light of the moon the creature’s fur glowed in shades of silver and brown. Its eyes screamed for blood and matched the blood stained fangs it had bared. It was easy to see that this beast was powerful. That it was larger and faster than the prey it was chasing. The human child had no chance. 

In a single bound the creature jumped on the child and the boy hit the ground.

He cried out in alarm when he felt the grass and dirt scrape against him. Panic had set in and all he could think was that he needed to get away. That he needs to get back inside. That he needs his parents.

The tried to escape but a large paw that was trying to keep the small meal down got his face. The sharp claws ripped the flesh too close to his eyes for comfort. Blood began to run from the cuts and mixed with the tears that ran down his face. Some ran from above his eyebrow and made it harder to see any way of escape. Just as he was about to cry and crawl for escape he was struck with unimaginable pain in his shoulder and side. 

The beast that had caught him had sunken its teeth into him. The massive mouth went from his right shoulder down to his hip and pierced through the flesh like it was nothing but paper. A scream of pure agony came from the small meal the creature had found itself but it paid it no mind. Most of the treats it caught made a lot of noise at first; it would end soon and it would get a snack out of this human. 

Creature was wrong on that regard. The screams of pure terror had woken up the adults inside. The relief of them bursting out of the back door was not felt by the small child held in the grip of the monster. The wounds and blood loos had started to get to the child's head. There was so much blood yet he all he could feel was numbness and a dizziness that begged him to close his eyes.

“Remus!” 

Someone screamed in his name in fear. It sounded like his mother but he could not be sure. He just wanted to close his eyes and hope this was all some terrible nightmare he was having in his warm bed in the cottage. 

The scream seemed to have distracted the beast as it dropped the toddler back onto the ground in a bloody heap. It seems the thing thought a larger meal was much better than the tiny child. It raced towards Remus' father, who led it away from his wife and son. 

The last thing Remus Lupin remembered before the world went dark was his mother's arms around him and her frantic words telling him to stay with her. 

* * *

**_Saint Mungo’s Hospital  
London, England_**

Light. That was the first thing Remus was aware of when he felt himself come back. He thought he had died. That it was the end in of his short existence. But the light faded away to darkness again and that brought on a slow ache the spread everywhere. There should be no pain in death so this made no sense.

Remus shifted some in discomfort but that did not help at all. It just brought a shock of pain that made him want to cry. The ache was just too powerful for him to even want to try and open his eyes.

What had happened to him? If he was not dead than what was this sensation?

In the silence of the self asked questions he caught onto a sound. He focused the little energy he had to focus in on the sound to figure out what it was. A good distraction from his aching form. Finally he picked up on it. A quiet conversation was being held near the location he was in. Who were participating in it came just after he recognized it: one was his mother, one was his father, but the third he did not recognize. 

He caught the sound of his mother crying; he could just imagine it in his mind. Her long tawny curls falling to hide her face as she cried into his father’s shoulder. The man would have a tight lipped look, his floppy brown hair in a neater arrangement. If his mother was crying than something had seriously upset her usually happy demeanor. 

The answer to why she was crying came next. The words the third voice made him freeze in his small understanding of what was happening.

“…I am sorry to say but there is not cure.” Said the third voice. It sounded authoritative and almost did not sound apologetic at all. 

“There has to be," his father's voice broke in. It had that waver that showed he was very upset though his face would never show it., "he cannot be turned into…into one of those things. He is too young, not even four." 

The third person sighed. It sounded like they heard some kind of variation of this argument before in their life, “We are sorry but Lycanthropy has no cure, it is still in the research phase and with a war seemingly brewing as we speak it has been delayed. I can't just-."

“Don’t tell me what you can and cannot do," Lyall Lupin's voice raised in the once quiet conversation. It seemed to echo around in the place they were. The words of the third party had distressed him. "You are healers and it is your job to fix things like this. I will put as much as I can into research if it means that my son will not be stuck as a werewolf forever!”

The raised voice of his father had been the driving force to get Remus to open his eyes. He ignored the pain that it caused when he suddenly was assaulted with white and lights everywhere, obviously a hospital. His young mind was focused on the statement his father had just made. Him a werewolf? The creature that was the monster in all the stories his father told him. The creature that was always defeated for a happy ending. Was he that monster now? A thing that would go after every little boy and girl at night, every witch and wizard just because it could! 

The thoughts brought tears to the boy’s eyes. He did not want to be evil. He just wanted to go home and have his cat back. 

“We can keep him here for the first moon just to make sure nothing serious happens to him," the third voice explained calmly to his parents. Remus concluded it had to be his healer, "He is the youngest case we have ever seen. There is no telling how this will play out. Best you can do from him, if you are really going through with this route, is once he is released you should keep him away from the world, make sure every full moon there is a secure place you can put him, and get him registered with the Ministry. ”

Remus pushed through the aches to move his head to look over at his family. His father nodded along with what the healer said but Remus could clearly see that his father was not pleased with the advice and lack of real help that was being provided.

“I would also suggest" the healer continued, "that you both educate yourselves are much as you can on the transformations.They are not a pretty process. I have seen a few in my time, they are painful and straining for the lycanthrope. Most people afflicted with this curse have a shorter life span."

"What do you mean?" Hope Lupin's voice was quiet and thick with emotion.

"I am trying to say your son may die before he even reaches the end of his thirties at his age, at most his forties. The strain that the transformation takes will be aging due to the stress. I'm sorry.”

Remus watched his mother lift her head and look at the healer in front of her. He saw her mouth move but did not hear those words. The child did not mull over this when he saw her move away from her husband to move towards her son.

He looked away fast and tried to pretend he was not listening. He tried to pretend that he was not crying either but he could not hide the tears, or the pain, or the fear. As soon as he saw his mother next to him he started to cry; he let out everything that he was feeling when she swept him up into her arms. 

“It will be alright, baby, Mummy’s got you," she whispered softly into his hair, "We won’t let anyone hurt you and won’t let you hurt anyone, I promise. I-I promise.”

Her voice wavered as she finished the promise. The woman was doing her best to sooth the scared child in her arms. Remus was so scared and the pain had only just begun from what she was understanding from the wizard doctor. It hurt her heart to see the small child like this and be unable to do anything about it. She was not a witch, just a retired insurance agent, a muggle according to the world she had married into. Even that magical world could not help her son so she was a mother without a cure to end his pain, magical or no. 

Lyall Lupin had come over during the exchange, obviously done with the healer for now. His face was stoic as he watched his son cry into his mother's shoulder. All this had happened and guilt swarmed his gut.

“I will look for any way to help you Remus," he whispered.

Hope Lupin looked up at her husband as he said those words, their gazes connecting in a moment of understanding. They both were going to do everything they could to help their son. 

“I promise,” he said with a nod.

Remus did not look up at his father to see that exchange. The boy just stayed connected to his mother as the sobs slowly died out to soft sniffling. Slowly, the room went silence once more and the heaviness that is the dread of the unknown took over the family. 


	2. Book 1: Chapter 2

** Moony **

**_Saint Mungo’s Hospital_ **   
**_London, England_ **   
**_10 March, 1964_ **

It had been nine days since the attack. In those nine days his face had been healed to the healers' best abilities with something the child thought smelled funny. The once large gashes had been slowly transformed to minor cuts that made it a little uncomfortable to move his face certain ways. It was like having a the sticky stuff of a band-aid forever on his face and it would be forever. The head healer had explained to him that they would fade into scars and there was no way for them to get rid of them. 

The bite wound seemed to be in the same boat. It was healed up to the point of not life threatening but it ached when he moved his right arm and the bandages kept him from lifting the arm over his head. The bandages also made it hard to turn to the right so he had very limited mobility. At least this had a positive reaction of him learning how to do things with his left hand. Maybe in the future he would have two wand arms and could dual wield. That would be awesome. 

Also in those nine days Remus had come to terms with the idea that he would be staying in the hospital for awhile. It took a day or so for him to be able to walk around again but once he did he was exploring every corner he was allowed to go and most he was not. Technically he was only allowed to walk around on his mother and father’s visits but a few rules broken were not going to hurt anyone. Especially when he got to hang around in his favorite place in the hospital for as long as he wanted.

This place was the gift shop. A little store where wizards and witches of loved ones could get something for their ailing relative. There was lots of toys and candy there even though he could not buy any of it he liked to look around and admire what was there. All the tiny sugar treats; sugar quills, chocolate frogs, every flavored beans. Tiny cakes that had tiny magical words scrawled on them in frosting. The lady behind the counter would smile and explain what they all were to him when he asked, even explaining how she made them. It really was the best place in the too white building that was St. Mungo's.

The most important part of those nine days was not any of this. No the most important part of that long stretch of time was the date it landed on in the end and that was the tenth of March.

It was a very important day in the young boy's life and it all started with Remus waking up to his mother's bright smile.

"Mummy!" The toddler was instantly up. He ignored the pain in his side for the sheer joy that warmed his heart at the sight of his mother. It was very rare when his parents could come and see him early in the morning. He threw his arms around his mother's neck and hugged her tightly. 

“Happy birthday, my big man." Hope Lupin laughed and kissed his cheeks, "The healer said you are well enough to go walk around London with me. How's that sound for a birthday present?" 

Remus gasped and pulled back from the hug to stare at his mother with wide eyes, “Really? I get to go to London?”

An even larger smile spread on the boy’s wounded face and he let out an excited laugh when she nodded. He fell back onto the bed with a small squeal. 

"This is gonna be the best birthday ever!" 

Hope smiled warmly at her child's excitement and puled out a present wrapped in gold paper.

“Well we better start this best birthday right with the first present of the day," she said and held the package out to him.

The four-year-old took the box out of her hands quickly. He tore the paper apart and let it scatter around him on the hospital bed. A little fairy tale book laid inside, colorful pictures decorated the cover and were surrounded by gold accents. _T_ _he Tales of Beedle and the Bard_  was written on top.

“I found it in the gift shop," his mother explained, "I thought you might like it. I can read you stories every night when you get to come home.”

Remus pulled his eyes away from the stories to look up at his mother.

“Can’t we go home now?” 

The look on his mother's face made the child regret asking the question. Hope looked away from him sadly to regain some composure before she turned back to him with a soft smile. 

“Not yet,baby. The healer’s want to make sure you are fully healed before you can head back. So you are nice and strong.”

Remus bit his lip to try and contain the tears that wanted to form.

He refused to cry on his birthday. He was four now; practically a grown up. He was not a big baby that cried because he couldn’t go home. The healers were going to take care of him and then he could go home, just like his mother said. And when he got back he could play with Silver and his father in the back yard. He would be able to sit in his bed and beg his mother to read him one more story though the sun had long since set. No hospital rules, no disgusting potions, and no too white walls. 

Remus let his mother wipe away a rebellious tear before she helped him out of the bed. The happiness of the day soon came back to both of them once he was changed out of his pajamas. His mother helped him pull his jacket on before she took his hand and they left the room. 

They made quick work to leave the hospital. They only paused so Remus could wave to the nice woman behind the counter in the gift shop while his mother checked him out for the day. The boy did not notice the dirty looks that were sent his way by some of the medi-witches and wizards that walked by. If he did he would not understand why they were doing that. 

Both him and his mother left the hospital without much trouble beside the looks. Remus blinked at the natural light when they finally entered the city. Behind them stood an abandoned building. They seemed to have stepped out from a whole in the wall of the building; a clever tactic used to trick muggles it was a normal abandoned building. The only way Hope Lupin could have gotten is was with the assistant of her husband. 

Hope led him away from the building and onto the busy streets of London. The whole place was bustling with more activity he was used to back at home. There were kids around his age walked with their parents, people in suits hurried past with a look that said they were late for work, and some people looked like older kids skipping school for a trip around the city.

He looked up at his mother with wide eyes. This was a little more overwhelming than he had realized it was going to be. He almost wanted to go back into the hospital and just spend the day with the gift shop lady but his mother pulled him along. His hand stayed tightly connected to her's as they walked. She was right, even in silence, he was going to make this a good day. A crowd was not going to stop that. 

* * *

 

Remus' birthday was mostly window shopping and admiring sights he did not get to see in his home village. The buildings were a lot taller than he was used to, the sounds were different and he was not sure if cities were always this loud, and the smells were very interesting.

He got his confidence back about two blocks from the hospital and started to drag his mother to interesting places. They did go into a toy store just before lunch and Remus had browsed the shelves wanting everything his small hands could touch. His mother ended up buying him a toy stuffed dog. Lunch was amazing as well. Remus got a free ice cream cone for his birthday and his father met up with them just as they got out of the building. 

Remus sat on his father's shoulders as they walked back into St. Mungo's. The ache had returned in his side but he could care less about it. This had been the best birthday ever. He sighed as he was put back on the ground once inside the hospital. The little boy leaned against his mother as his father went over to make sure Remus was checked back in. 

There was a different witch at the desk then the one that had been there this morning. She did not even look over at the toddler as she wrote his name down. Lyall pretended that is did not bother him, especially when she did not bid them a good day and pretended they were not even there. He just moved back over to his wife and son so they could head back to Remus' room. 

Remus could feel the happiness slowly start to drain away from him as they entered that too white room again. He tried to keep the smile on his face as he was placed on the bed. He was happy to have had this day with him but was sad that it was so close to ending. 

"Mummy can you read me a story?" 

It was a last ditch attempt to keep them both around longer and was plainly obvious but it worked. His mother sat on the side of the bed with a kind smile and took the book from him. 

"Of course I can. Long as you help me." 

The room fell into the story that Hope told. Lyall sat next to her and Remus was snuggled between them. Remus could see every character and laughed at the funny voices his mother gave them. The young boy was happy to be with his family again but sadly it did not last. 

The end of visiting hours came and his parents had to leave. They had to leave him alone in this place. His mother promised that she would be back as soon as she could. 

He watched them go sadly. The ache from the bite more prominent now that they were gone. It had not been there all day, but it was there again; taunting him for going outside and bringing this on himself.

Remus sat on his bed and flicked through the new book silently. He could not read many of the words. He almost jumped out of his skin when the door opened. The young boy looked up to see the lady behind the gift shop counter was there with a little cake.

“Heard someone had a birthday and I couldn’t deny my favorite customer a treat.”

She sat down on the bed next to him and showed off the cake in her hands. It was a chocolate cake that had white icing all around it and was decorated with little chocolate flowers. The words "Happy Birthday" were piped in the middle and had been enchanted to change many different colors. 

Remus stared at it, a little joy bubbling back up in his chest when she put four candles on it.

“Thank you," he whispered and looked up at her in awe. 

The woman smiled at him and flicked her wand to light the candles, “You are welcome. Now, make a wish and blow out the candles.”

Remus closed his eyes quickly at the request and thought long and hard about his wish. He took in a deep breath when he figured it out and made his wish. He wished to go home soon and that this whole thing would blow over soon. He opened his eyes after he gave his breath and smiled up at the gift shop woman. 

Remus and the gift shop lady, or Lucy as he learned later, sat in his room and ate the cake. He relayed to her the stories his mother read him today as they ate. Lucy was a very good listener and asked questions at all the right times. She was quickly becoming his favorite person in the hospital.

The cake party did not last either. His healer came in just as they finished the last slice and asked her to leave so he could check on his patient. His voice was almost in a distressed tone that the witch had been alone with him. Remus did not understand why but Lucy seemed to understand the request.

She left the room without complaint; taking the plates with her and leaving Remus alone with this wizard. 

Once she was gone, the healer began his work. He changed the bandages on Remus' bite wound. The progress in the healing seemed to make the man very happy. 

There was only silence during this process. The healer did not want to start a conversation and Remus just decided to let his mind wander. The boy waited patiently as the man tightened the bandages and finished up for the night. As soon as the wizard was done, Remus pulled his shirt back on and flopped back on the bed with his stuffed dog. He snuggled down under the blankets and sighed as the lights were dimmed in the room and the door closed. 

Even if this was a great birthday; the small boy could not help but feel a little put off about how it ended. He was still stuck in this dumb hospital room that was too white and too far away from his home.


	3. Book 1: Chapter 3

** Moony **

**_Saint Mungo’s Hospital_ **  
**_London, England_ **  
**_March, 1964_ **

After Remus’s birthday, the young boy found himself in a pretty standard routine. He would wake up early and take the required potions, eat breakfast, wander around the floor he was one, be checked up on his nurse, his mother or father would visit and they would have lunch together, visit Lucy, go back to the room for a little bit of rest, have dinner and his potions, and go to sleep.

Things started to change when the week of the moon drew closer.

The young boy started to notice strange things happen around the hospital. A lot of the medi-witches and wizards had started to avoid him. He could pick up on small whispers of conversations they would have without them realizing he was close enough to hear them. Sometimes he would catch him giving dirty looks to his back.

He did not understand why they would do that.

The memory of his first night in the hospital had become a blur. His mind had deleted the completely lunacy that he could be such a terrible creature. There was no proof of any change into the monster of his childhood stories.

A werewolf was a terrifying beast that was clever enough to hide amongst its prey. The monster had a bloodthirsty need to hurt people, take children, and would not stop to make people miserable. Even when in their human disguise the werewolf was a terrible creature.

Remus being a werewolf was impossible. He still thought the same, and walked the same, and talked the same. He did not want to hurt anyone. He merely just wanted someone to play with. The most ruthless thing that Remus had ever done was kill a few flies that got into the house and even than he preferred to catch them and let them go outside.

People just could not see that and as the twenty-first dawned Remus’ routine was changed.

Paranoia was a powerful force and spread through the hospital as the dreaded day got close. Any of his usual wanders around the hospital were banned unless he had his parents or a healer with him.

The first time he got this new ruling the child had not listened. Remus had tried to leave on his own but was found not five steps away from his room and brought back. Now, with his parents only coming for a short time Remus found most of his days to be spent stuck in his room.

It was boring, stifling, and just plain maddening. The child only had a few things to entertain himself with. By the third day of being confined to his bed he had flipped through the story book ten times. Remus was sure he could describe each picture on every page perfectly to anyone if they asked. Maybe even tell them a few of the stories that were not too complicated for him to read.

The book did only so much for a distraction.

The longer he spent in his room the more it felt like the too white walls were closing in on him. He could feel them get closer and closer to him with each passing day. The threat of them closing in on him driving him up the very looming threat that wanted to squash him.

Normally the thing to be blamed would be just his toddler attention span but there was something else at work and it all had to do with the moon.

The ever-growing moon had started to have a weird pull on him. He could feel it in chest at night, something being swayed by the mysterious force. The child had taken to closing the thing curtains in the room to try and avoid the rays.

Remus had discovered a trouble sleeping. The child would lay awake at night and stare at the ceiling. His healer called his trouble sleeping insomnia and that is was normal this close to the day. Remus just wanted to stop being grouchy and for it to be more of a concern.

Other things that had been weird since this week started had been his change of taste. He had been given a hamburger for lunch once and refused to eat it because it tasted overcooked.

His eyesight had gotten better and made it hard to sleep at night because the room did not seem as dark as it should be. Remus could hear the whispers the healers and nurses said clearly as if they were talking to him and he could smell the weird sent that was potions brewing. It was not the most appetizing sent.

It scared him, these changes. The more he noticed the more he wanted them to stop. When he brought this fear up to his healer the man just assured him that they were natural things to happen for his ailment and not to worry.

But the man was worrying, Remus could tell. Even if these things were natural they were something to worry about for some reason. The healer was just as scared as Remus, if not more.

The healer was scared of him.

* * *

**_28 March, 1964_ **

Remus Lupin awoke that morning with a great ache over his body. The whole week had been full of small aches and pains but this was all that magnified to a higher extent. Every muscle seemed to ache and his stomach was tied in knots.

He felt ready to throw up, like the time he got the flu. He wished his mother was here now to nurse him back to health.

The child rolled over onto his side and groaned a little at the shocks of pain that sent over his body. Any attempt to sit up and greet that day was stopped when the world around him began to spin just because he lifted his head a little.

When the nurse came in to give him his potions and breakfast Remus tried to turn it down. He could barely down the potions fully and the little bit of toast he managed to swallow quickly began to crawl its way to freedom.  He did not care when the nurse left in a hurry with a still very full plate of food.

Remus did not even care about the complete silence out in the hallway of his room. He just wanted to sleep and with the potions help he did just that. His dreams were filled with a fearful rush to get away from a looming danger he could not see.

_His feet ran and ran but the danger seemed to get closer and closer. He could feel the bright light of something getting brighter and closer. The child pushed through the obstacles in his way but he did could not get away. It was practically on top of him. He felt himself trip. It was here-_

Remus woke up with a start. The sharp pain of his body from whatever sickness was in his system ignored because the adrenaline pumping through his veins. Sweat plastered his sandy hair to his forehead and he looked around to room in fear that the bright thing that had been chasing him was nowhere to be seen.

The only thing off about this too white room was the fact his door was opened and his healer had stepped inside. The man carried a plate and had a grave look on his face.

“Did not mean to wake up,” he said, “But it is good I did. I have somethings I want to talk about before tonight.”

The man set the plate down on the table at the end of the bed and sat on the edge of the bed with some hesitation. He did not look directly at the child but he could already tell the effects of the moon were settling in.

The four-year-old was as pale as a ghost and there were beads of sweat that ran down from his forehead. The poor child’s hands shook with unknown fear under the blanket where he had hidden them. He watched the man expectantly; not saying a word.

“I wanted…I wanted you to understand what is going to happen tonight,” the man explained carefully.

Remus continued to be silent. His wide brown eyes now had a ring of amber that held the hidden power the child was about to unlock. The healer could not look into them because he felt like something _else_ was watching him.

“Tonight, I am going to take you to a place where it will be safe to change,” the healer explained. He chose his words carefully to the child could understand, “Some place where there is no way you can hurt anyone.”

He paused and looked away from the child fully.

“The transformation will be…painful. There is no way for me to ease that pain but I know you can push through it. You are a tough boy coming this far.”

The healer changed a glance over at the child and the boy had seemingly gone paler. His little body trembled under the fear of the situation he was in.

“I want to go home,” Remus whimpered and wiped away at the tears that had started to form in his eyes.

The healer sighed heavily and looked at his shoes. He had dealt with many Lycanthropy cases before. Most where older wizards and witches whose jobs were to go after the beasts. Those people had understood the gravity of the situation. Most had taken the better path once they learned of their ailment and ended it there before the pain of the first moon could come.

This child was too young to understand what was going to happen. All Remus J. Lupin knew was that he was sick and he was hurting. All Remus understood was that he wanted to go home to the two people he trusted to make the pain go away. He could not fathom that once this pain started it would never stop. That he would be a slave to the moon forever.

The healer thought over what he needed to say in response to the child carefully before he responded.

“Once tonight it over you will be going home.”

“Promise?”

Remus clung to that hope quickly. The healer knew he would. The man nodded and forced himself to look over at the child on the bed.

“I promise,” the man said simply and stood up from the bed. He grabbed the plate and Remus could see it had a few slices of toast on it. “Now eat this and get some more rest. You will need it.”

Carefully the man handed over the plate. Once Remus had it in his hands the man left without another word and Remus was left in that too white room, alone, once again.

The child watched the door silently after the healer left for about a minute. In that short span of time the fear and dread that circled his heart turned into a boiling sea of rage. He wanted to go home now. He wanted to stop feeling so sick.

The child threw the plate to the floor and watched as the plate shattered into pieces and the toast hit the ground. The rage left the moment the ringing of the broken plate stopped in the room. Tears started to form once again in the boy’s eyes.  

“I wanna go home,” he whimpered and pulled his knees to his chest. “I wanna go home.”

* * *

Night drew closer and closer. With every hour that passed Remus just felt sicker and dinner had not been an option. As twilight approached Remus had decided that he was not going to move from his bed. The child was very disappointed that his plans were foiled when his healer pulled him from bed just as the sun began to set.

He threw a tantrum as he was led out of the room. His little heals did their best to dig into the slick floor but the fight was useless. He would not be spending the night in his room. The floor was cold on his bare feet and his stomach twisted terribly with every step.

The tears dried up as they entered the stairwell and started to travel down. He had never been down this passage before and curiosity took over the need to throw a fit. A few sniffles left him as he looked around.

There were a few windows in the stairwell as they traveled down it. Every time Remus got a glimpse outside the sky seemed to be a little darker and something seemed to stir in his chest. It sent a terribly shiver down his spine which made the aches more painful.

The windows ended as soon as they passed the ground floor and left the stairwell to enter a dark, cold basement. Torches were the only light source down there and only lit as they walked past them. The fire did not seem to make the place any warmer.

Their destination was a room at the end of the long stretch of obvious storage. With a flick of the healer’s wand the door opened and he led Remus inside. The child tried to look around but the man let go of his hand and held the boy firmly by his thin shoulders.

“You have to be brave,” the healer said, “This is going to be very difficult but you are tough. I know you can handle this.”

Remus stared at him with wide eyes full of fear. Handle what? What was happening?

The man gave no answer as he got up and left the room before Remus could get a word in. The door closed behind him with the defining click of a lock.

The simple click of the lock seemed to echo in Remus’ ear drums. It made him snap out of the frozen fear of swirling questions and bolt for the door. He must have misheard it. The man could not just lock him away. His mother and father would never allow that to happen.

He got to the door quickly and pulled on the handle only to find it would not budge. He tried it again; pulled on it, pushed the door; even kicked it. But he could not get it open.

The dark walls of this room felt so confining. He needed out. He needed his mother.

“Please! Please let me out! Mummy! Help! Let me out!”

Tears had started to fall down his face again as he pulled on the door desperately. The child all but screaming for help into the empty air. The scream of words only morphed into one of true pain as a sharp spike seemed to go through his chest.

That spike only bloomed into a burning sensation that spread outward to take over his whole body. The scream of agony got worse and more tears fell as he crumbled to the ground. It felt like his flesh was on fire. Like all his bones were breaking and being put back together.

Words were no longer an option as he curled up into a ball and his nails dug into his arms to try and get this terrible pain to stop.

Outside the room the healer stood with a blank expression on his face as the basement echoed with the small child’s screams. He took in a shaky breath and raised his wand. With a flick of a wrist the basement became silent as the man put a silencing charm on the room.

He stood there for another moment in the silence before he put a calming charm on the room as well.

With nothing else to do he moved to leave the basement. With every step the man sent a silent prayer up to whomever could hear that in the morning Remus Lupin would still be alive.


End file.
